Excerpt 8: Buck and Lin March to the Beat of a Different Drummer -- from my devotional, "We Danced!"
March 6, 2014
"Life picked up to a steady, prevalent beat of a march as Buck's career demands increased. He was required to attend classes to improve his work contribution in the new computer programs. He taught classes the other nights of the week to further his team skills. We became involved in church and school activities as well as YMCA Indian Guides and Indian Princesses, Boy Scouts, and church choir. This time in our lives was so busy! We were constantly shuffling schedules so that at least one parent was home with the children when life circumstances demanded the other parent was not. Rather than dancing close on the dance floor, we began drifting apart to individual marching steps as we stared at and admired each other across the room.
However, we prided ourselves on our togetherness, and we shared common interests rather than separating or drifting apart physically like many of our friends chose to do. In comparison to them, we were doing vey well. Just because we had little -- if any -- time left over for each other, we were committed to love each other no matter what. We began to settle for less than the best in our marriage and accepted this time as a phase entitled, "it will be better later." "Better" wasn't coming anytime soon.
As a strike at Buck's work demanded he work alternating shifts from first to third to second to third to first with no time to even think about couple or family activities, the stress began to take its toll. We knew things had become too much when slammed doors became the norm. I delighted in running the vacuum while Buck was trying to rest. Dishes clanked and pots and pans rumbled to a disturbing rhythm rather than that flow we had enjoyed the night we danced to "Misty" only a few years before. We needed help, but both of us were too nice to address the issues in fear we might have major upsets. I believe we thought if we ignored these problems, they would disappear.
Buck and I had married for life and were committed to make our marriage the forever kind of love. We'd not only committed to each other, but to God. Buck told me on the way to St. Louis on our honeymoon that he wanted our marriage to be one never-ending date. How were we going to keep that dream alive when disillusionment marched so deeply through our relationship?
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Dance Tip: The onset of disillusionment often creeps very slowly into a relationship. For us, the challenge of Buck's career demands and our activities with church, school, and community all were good things. But we had trouble finding balance.
Ask the Lord to provide insight for both of you to assess the necessary changes in your schedules to make your couple time the top priority. He will help in this area if you invite Him into the equation. He provides just the right dance steps.
How about you two as a couple? Is this an area that needs work? Ae you willing to ask for His lead?
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!